millennials are destroying the english language

Posted on April 13, 2018 By

OMG

millennials are destroying the world

vital reporting from the likes of Business Insider shows how theyre killing everything from napkins to light yoghurt – and lets not even mention the environmental impact of all those ☕️ ☕️ ☕️ *

* (if youre over 35, thats an emoji – or “symbol” – representing the word Coffee)

but wait theres more

more you cry?? what could be worse than being scared of doorbells or pissing off piers morgan?!

brace yourself.. controversial research shows millennials might actually care about reading and language. baby boomers and gen xers might be held up as the bastion of cultural knowledge BUT millennials read more. theyre also more likely to be annoyed by spelling and grammar mistakes. theyre even overcoming the limits of written language by inventing their own rules. how dare they??

instagrammar

  • capitals aren’t really necessary for people to understand your writing but theyre useful to show Emphasis or ANGER
  • punctuation is helpful when it adds clarity or creates a particular effect, but too complicated when you have to look up the rules in Strunk and White
  • acronyms are a central part of webspeak, from lol to IRL
  • written language owes a lot to how people speak, so theres no need to be overly Correct with words like “whom”
  • slang is just another part of language – if somethings lit why bother trying to find a better word?

although it might look like its written by someone who left school at 12, the language of the internet has some important lessons as it can actually be more expressive than Proper English – especially useful when you dont want your bae to misinterpret your sincere whatsapp apology

english shminglish

millennials have shaken things up a bit by proving that english is always evolving and grammar rules only exist to clear up confusion

your boring annual report might not be the place to start testing language you discovered on twitter but one day youll be a bit more relaxed about whether you should use a semicolon or a comma. because? it. doesnt. matter.

copywriters should be excited about the possibilities for new ways of expressing thoughts that stop some pedant being able to complain they dont like your use of the oxford comma because they were taught its wrong by their stuffy school english teacher even though ITS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL SOMETIMES.

i dont know about you but id happily forgo napkins if it means our flawed language moves ahead with the times a little bit. amirite?

it will be even more exciting to see what happens when gen z take over. if March for Our Lives is anything to go by, there will be a big 🖕 to anyone blindly accepting the status quo without any attempt to try things that might actually improve our lives

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This post was written by Chris Silberston